Corny jokes - let's hear em

[Vakarian]

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye Matey!

[AOD_AJeepDog]

Whats blue and taste like red paint?

Blue paint.

[AOD_Anvil]

It took ages for my visa for russia to get approved. They probably weren't russian it.

I didn't think I'd look good with a beard but it's growing on me

[Taavus Wrack]

What do yo call a Pirate with two legs and two hands ?

Novice

[Taavus Wrack]

Why is being a Pirate addictive ?

Because once you loose a hand your hooked.

[Taavus Wrack]

Why are Pirates good sailors?

Just because they Ahrrrr

[Taavus Wrack]

What does a retired Pirate do ?

Become BAhhrrrman

[AOD_Templar8899]

Sure be alot of pirate jokes in this thread......

What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?


Anyone can roast beef but nobody can pee soup!

[AOD_Caledric]

What do you call a cow being bullied by 3 other cows?

Cornered Beef.

[joshthegeek]

I thought up a bad pickup line in the shower 10 mins ago, so here it goes: Hi, my name is Pencil Lead, and you must be Eraser because tonight you'll be rubbing on me.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[AOD_Caledric]

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

[Taavus Wrack]

I'll just leave these here:-

Q: Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?
A: Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.

Q: How do pirates know that they are pirates?
A: They think, therefore they ARRRR!!!!!

Q: What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea?
A: He got marooned.

Q: How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheaply?
A: He bought it on sail.

Q: What has 8 legs, 8 arms and 8 eyes?
A: 8 pirates.

Q: What did the ocean say to the pirate?
A: Nothing, it just waved.

Q: What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate?
A: One has a rumbling tummy, and the other’s a tumbling rummy.

Q: What does a Dyslexic Pirate Say?
A: RRRRRRA!

Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
A: Because they can spend years at C.

Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck.

Q: How much did the pirate pay for his piercings?
A: A buck-an-ear.

Q: How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook?
A: An arm and a leg.

Q: How do pirates prefer to communicate?
A: Aye to aye!

Q: How do ye turn a pirate furious?
A: Take away the ‘p’.

Q: Why did nobody want to play cards with the pirate?
A: Because he was standing on the deck.

Q: What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot.

Q: What does a vegan pirate do in jail?
A: Starrrrrve!

Q: What subject are pirates best at at school?
A: Arrrt.

Q: How did the pirate become a boxing champion so quick?
A: No one wanted to take on his right hook.

[aggressionist]

What's the difference between jam and marmelade?

You can't marmelade your finger up a birds arse....

[ForgottenLands]

A baby seal walks into a club.

[Lt_FellaWhite]

What two letters can you use to spell candy?

C and Y

[War_Wizard]

Most of my jokes are distasteful.. BUT...

what do you call a man with no legs or arms n the ocean?

bob


what do you call a woman with a leg shorter than the other?

ilene


what do you call a man with no arms or legs at your door?

matt

[Lt_FellaWhite]

Have you ever wondered how we have finger tips, but not toe tips, yet we can still tip toe?

[AOD_Anvil]

Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?

Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.

[AOD_AJeepDog]

I heard one about pizza,
But its too cheesy to repeat..

[AOD_Anvil]

Why is pirating so addictive?

They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!